Parody of a Pressure Cooker

So my daughter was home sick and I had a semi-free day to make a nice home cooked meal for a change. I had a veggie soup mix from my food co-op that I was dying to try. I ran to the store and picked up some stew meat, but did not pick up rolls. I figured I could make them myself- I had a great Lion house mix that was foolproof and I had time, right? (By the way, they will never be as good as my mother -in-law Pam's. Hers are magical. She had a pan of'em sitting on her counter yesterday when we were visiting, and I was constantly fighting the urge to dump the whole pan in my purse and run for the hills!) But, I digress......

I figured I would start the rolls, dance around singing and little birds would come and help me clean my kitchen, while harmonizing with me. However, my husband came home earlier than I expected, so I put the soup in the pressure cooker to cook it a little faster. This is my mother's pressure cooker and though I don't cook a lot with the pressure lid, I figure her wisdom would rub off on me. Aren't these things inherent?
The soup was really boiling and the steam was screaming out of the pressure gauge. I wondered if I should turn it down or check the soup to see if it was getting done. The lid has some warnings on it, like don't fill the pot too full, let steam out before opening, etc. I had this all under control, turned the handle, let steam out and figured I was good - so I opened the lid and watched in horror as the vegetable beef soup volcano erupted all over my kitchen! I've never seen anything like it before in my life....
Luckily my husband, who already thinks I am a giant dumkoff in the kitchen, was upstairs. I let out a bunch of whisper screams ( you know you've done it before, and if you haven't---- -la-de-friggin' dah..) then started scraping puddles of soup off the stove and countertop with the pan scraper back into the pot (extra flavor!)
My phone started ringing and I thought-"can't come to the phone right now- I'm scraping vegetables off of the cabinets! Please leave a message and if I get this mess cleaned up before my husband comes down the stairs, I may be alive to call you back. Besides, magical or not, I'm going to the store to BUY rolls.........

"You will do foolish things, but do it with enthusiasm." Collette